Accept me for who I am

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MICHAEL JACKSON
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CHEN HANWEI
This self-esteem problem had been troubling me for so many years, since the day I first started schooling. I felt it's abt time I share a bit of myself wif you, and this will be the only time I do so. If you know me well enough, then u may carry on reading... if u dont know me at all, then KEEP OUT FROM THIS SITE.
In case u are wondering, I am of Thai-Chinese heritage... and get this, I am 100% Singaporean, born and bred here (I was born at the hospital located one bus stop away from Mediacorp Center). I had even served NS... and to tell u the truth, it's not a very easy life at all.
Throughout most of the 10 years in primary and secondary school, I had been called names, beaten, spat at and gone thru all kinds of crap... tho there are a few of them who still care abt me and accept me for who I am regardless of my race. Life in ITE Tampines and National Service could haf been a lot worse when the officers keep asking me abt my heritage, but fortunately things weren't as bad I thot. The name calling is fine, but the fact that some of my classmates back then insult my parents or heriatge is painful enough. And I dont like it when some people keep greeting me "Sawadee-kup" whenever I report to work (note to that manager wif the voice as high as MJ's) bcos I am Singaporean after all, and not purely Thai btw. Altho I live a normal life like anyone around me, the fact that Im slightly different from the others had given me some inferior complex that Im struggling with till this very day. I know all too well that my brother and I are not the only Thai-Chinese individuals in Singapore. Im not asking for your sympathy or what... just voicing out my true thoughts. And this is MY blog after all so I can type out anything I like. And another thing to note is that altho Im 23 years old this year, my mind is 'not quite fully developed' yet... a bit like an 18-yr old's.
So when u think of me, think of me not as Tanat the Star Wars fan, the X-Men fan, the Mediacorp Forums member or even a Singapore Idol fan (and many other 'titles' to come), but rather as Tanat the Unique... and my name actually means "Prince of Wealth" (Im speaking the truth). And not to forget that I am after all a Child of God. Im not angry wif anyone of u who had insulted me in the past. I just want u to picture yourself in my shoes, and try not to judge others who aren't from Singapore or are slightly different from us (how I wished I could say that to the poor gal who often eats her lunch alone). And Im really glad not to haf gone thru a troubled childhood like the world-renowned singer who turns 48 today. U know who Im talking abt (see very first paragraph to see my point)... the once-handsome Afro-American who had transformed into a 'long haired, white woman' wif a botched-up nose, bulging eyes, sunken cheekbones and an obsession for young males. I may appreciate his works a lot (and I still listen to his Greatest Hits everyday), but I cannot say anything more abt his grotesque looks and eccentric behaviour (Im quite tolerant with those "Hee-hee", "hoo-hoo" quotes and the crotch grabbing).