I got a feeling that something bad is about to happen sometime before Christmas... if the rumors are indeed true, then I better prepare to face my inner demons when the day comes. I gotta read the Bible more often and pray more fervently in order to be mentally prepared for the challenge that is about to come.Should I fail this 'test', I may have to quit from one of the fanclubs... most likely the one that I haf been serving faithfully for the longest time... I shan't reveal anymore, for I made a promise to keep the matter 100% confidential. I cannot afford to leak even a mere mention. Now I know how Mr S feels.
To the person who is reading this, you know who you are. I pray that you forgive me over any blunder I may make on the day of reckoning, and understand the psychological struggle that I am going thru for soooo long. You know I'm not the egoistic kind. I am also one who knows how to keep secrets and keep a low profile on certain things. Should the dark side threten to consume me again, I shall hide my face in a black corner and run away as far as possible. I fear I may end up as tortured as Darth Vader, hating myself for developing intense emotions and being someone that Im not. And hurting others unknowingly. The wound in my heart is starting to grow wider as the clock ticks away...
To the person who is reading this, you know who you are. I pray that you forgive me over any blunder I may make on the day of reckoning, and understand the psychological struggle that I am going thru for soooo long. You know I'm not the egoistic kind. I am also one who knows how to keep secrets and keep a low profile on certain things. Should the dark side threten to consume me again, I shall hide my face in a black corner and run away as far as possible. I fear I may end up as tortured as Darth Vader, hating myself for developing intense emotions and being someone that Im not. And hurting others unknowingly. The wound in my heart is starting to grow wider as the clock ticks away...
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