Warning to all readers: highly offensive material ahead!! If anyone of you don't like it, you can choose not to come here and go to another URL right now!!! And no thanks for coming.
I'm getting so high over the WWE Smackdown vs Raw 2007 game... I actually did the 'craziest' thing yet: I created a few wrestlers from the "Create A Wrestler" mode... most of them out of goodwill. Only 4 of the wrestlers are based on people I dislike (yes, in real life!!)... one of them being a fugitive who's still on the run and is the butt of many toilet jokes nowadays (esp in TalkingCock.com). All hail the power of UMD (Universal Media Disc)!! Behold the suspects... don't mind the blurry quality of the pictures ;-p
Suspect #1
Name: Mas Selemat, who else!! Muahaha... :-D
The Crimes: he was the leader of the Singapore JI network, he escaped from a drug detention center on 27th February 2008, and has further solidified his status as a true-blue coward by staying hidden from the public eye and not showing his face til now, while the whole of Singapore tirelessly searches for him.
Unique Features: short build, scruffy hair, moustache, yellow shirt with Gents toilet logo (cos he escaped from toilet, remember?), orange 3/4 pants, slippers (he can't even afford to buy himself a decent pair of shoes)
Entrance motion: a big coward unfamiliar with the new surroundings
Modelled after: some Capoeira fighter, his moves consist mostly of kicks and leg locks, though his left leg is still aching from all that 'running'.
Finishing move: Buzzsaw Kick, STO
Wrestler he should stay away from: most of the powerhouses (who are out to get him), esp submission artists like Ric Flair, Kurt Angle or Bret Hart (whose finishers pose a great threat to his legs). But he shouldn't have any problem battling the Cruiserweights.
Suspect #2
Name: Alvin "The Retard" DaHutt
The Crimes: as his nickname implies, he is a childish moron/retard/imbecile who goes for some roadshows, showing peace signs at the camera, shouting like mad for any artiste (mostly Project Superstars or Campus Superstars), and even tried to 'molest' one of the male artistes (horrors!!) at one point!! His vocabulary is limited to "Wahhh", "yay", "woo hoo" and name of any artiste who comes out to perform.
Unique Features: overweight build, midtone skin, squint eyes, very big nose with big nostrils, short messed up hair, wears red-colored pants, has tribal tattoos on chest and back
Entrance motion: a mix of Mark Henry and Big Show
Modelled after: Rikishi, with some moves from Umaga (who is ironically the Phat Man's younger brother)
Finishing move: Rikishi Driver, Brock Lesnar F-5
Wrestler he should stay away from: big-sized people like Kane, Undertaker, Big Show and Viscera, not to forget the Great Khali!! One chop to the head can prove lethal to this fatty with an extremely low IQ AND EQ.
Suspect #3
Name: "Fish Lips" Bowguang Sleazy
The Crimes: he is believed to be harassing most artistes at Radiogate for quite a long time. He often asks them lots of questions, carries an outdated camera (come on, who uses a film-roll cam now?? We have digicams now, mind you!!) and makes weird facial expressions when taking picture with artistes. Can be cunning and manipulative at times. Often drools at the sight of attractive ladies.
Unique Features: lanky build, tanned skin, big eyes, superbly thick lips, straight hair, a lizard logo on t-shirt, dark green pants
Entrance Motion: a mix of Christian Cage and Randy Orton
Modelled after: Sean Waltman aka X-Pac, with a few moves from Randy Orton.
Finishing move: X-Pac Facebuster
Wrestler he should stay away from: The Boogeyman!! He really won't wanna end up with worms in his humongous mouth... and he should also be prohibited from mixing with the Divas.
Suspect #4
Name: "Super Ego" Mr Kiam Pa (some of you should know who!!!)
The Crimes: he is simply an over-sensitive, egoistic, obsessive, insecure asshole, known for talking at a very fast pace, taking pictures with any female artiste continuously, claiming to 'know a lot of things' (when he didn't even do well in his O levels), and always trying to find fault with others.
Unique Features: medium build, fair skin, extremely small eyes, flat nose, thin lips and small mouth, stick-out ears, unkempt hair with long fringe, polo shirt, denim pants
Entrance Motion: a mix of Kurt Angle and Ted DiBiase... plus his entrance music is taken directly from Angle's theme... simply cause HE REALLY SUCKS!!! (you know the rhythm: "U Suck, U Suck, U Suck, U Suck")
Modelled after: Christian Cage, with a few moves from Kurt Angle
Finishing move: The Unprettier
Wrestlers he should stay away from: Shawn Michaels, Triple H, Batista, John Cena... any wrestler with devastating finishers. Should have no problem mingling with Melina, provided her boyfriend Johnny Nitro doesn't mind.
Teamup:
Being the loner that he always is, Mas Selamat wisely chose to stay out of the spotlight and maintain a low profile by playing solo.
In the meantime, Alvin, Bowguang and MKP joined forces to form a rule-breaking faction known as The Despicables!! Loud boos everyone... :-@
Entrance music: Kurt Angle's "Medal" theme, which MKP uses. The reason is obvious... they all suck!!
Entrance motion: New World Order, due to the extent of their notoriety.
Roles in faction: Bowguang, being the most experienced (which is actually true), is the leader of the trio (aka the integrity), MKP is the 'brains', and Alvin, being the biggest member, is the 'brawn'.
Rejected wrestler ideas:
- LeiJun Stinko: banned from competing in the WWE due to his strong BO and annoying behavior (suspected to be gay as he often goes very close to guys, esp when chatting with them). Based off a Mediacorp fan who wears WWE Superstar shirts and sweats profusely like a pig.
- Wayward Shrieker: unfit for active wrestling due to unstable mental condition, known for screaming very loudly at anyone for no apparent reason. This is based off a crazy woman who lives at the flat opposite mine and screams like mad in the middle of the night, usually twice or thrice a week. Even crazier than Super Crazy.
