Saturday, April 07, 2007

New template, new viewpoint on inner conflicts

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MD NOH AND AMANDA
23 more days...

I just changed the template of my blog... just in case you didn't notice.

The sacrifices we make in life... skipping friends' birthday parties due to work commitments and other stuff... I still wonder if it's worth it. I had to miss TWO parties due to night work (even while Im still contemplating on quitting sometime in June). Countless of apologies to Md Noh and Joshua for not being able to make it for both parties :-(

But the main thing is, I'm more concerned abt a friend's well-being... he nearly sucuumbed to his darker emotions when he pushed his 'obsession' to limits never thought possible (well, it happened to someone else, and this guy's much younger than the both of us). And now he's attempting to make up for his mistakes and avoiding anything that may re-trigger his dark psyche. I understand his situation because I myself had been through it before. To me, getting too emotionally attached to a certain fave celebrity (mostly female) is somewhat like a parasite... you have to learn to control your inner self and resist the parasite before it takes full control of you. It becomes a struggle between the feeling of power and the lust for those kinds of (negative) emotions versus the good, selfless and moral side of oneself. Negative emotions like pride, lust, greed, fear, anger, hate, aggression, arrogance... and suffering. Think Anakin Skywalker renouncing his humanity in a desperate attempt to save the ones he loved, but ending up as a slave to the dark side and doing the Emperor's biddings as Darth Vader. It's like a never-ending battle between the light side (God) and the dark side (Satan).

And the same theme on the battle between good and evil is depicted in the upcoming Spider-Man 3 film... Peter Parker has to fight his way out of the alien suit before it transforms him into something ugly. I see myself no different from Peter or Anakin... while it's natural to get angry over something or show concern over a dear friend, I realize the importance of letting my anger go, forgetting the past, learn from life's mistakes and moving on to better things in life. And also to not be too obsessed over certain people, as well as give up some dreams (no matter how much pain it may cause at times). But most important, I have learnt to love myself and love everyone around me, just like how Jesus showed His love to all of us by giving up His life on the cross so that we may be saved from eternal damnation.

I hope everyone of you enjoyed your Good Friday ytd. May God's grace be with you always.
I wish you well, Mr S... I hope u can get over this trauma soon and let go of your despair. To everyone else out there (Mediacorp fans, schoolmates, old friends and colleagues), I love you all very much. Esp the gal whose birthday is approaching :-)

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