Monday, August 11, 2008

Feeling a little helpless and down... :-(

I was a bit surprised to learn that I was not required for today's filming. Could be that the scenes for today didn't require so many calefares, but that's alright...

Not one to slack at home for the whole day, I decided to go to the library at Hougang Mall to borrow a few books... one on cats, and another one on the life of Jesus. No comics found there, darn it. Initially I wanted to put in the weekly Bible dedication today, but due to personal issues, I have decided to make this entry a little different, on a more personal basis.

It's funny how whenever I look upon the cross in any church, I see Jesus at His best, and yet I also see man at his worst. I am reminded not just of the unlimited power of God, but also the sordid weakness of man. I think not only of the radiance of the Divine One, but also the tang of Human. Therefore we must see the cross as the magnificent symbol of love conquering hate and of light overcoming darkness. For it was on that old rugged cross that Jesus, who was born without sin, gave up His life so that we sinners may enjoy eternal life. For though we are weak, we can do anything through Jesus who gives us strength (Phillipians 4:13).

I am feeling really down lately... I know I'm not the most devoted Christian, but I'm constantly struggling with my faith. Somehow I feel kinda worthless...

Ever since I got discharged from Bakerzin less than 2 weeks ago, I've been going for interview after interview, making countless applications, and I'm still waiting for an answer till now. :-( Given the constant nagging and pressurizing I've been receiving lately, I am very close to losing my mind and patience, so much til I could have done something extremely stupid. And if I could do just one thing to destress myself and get 'even', I could've put in that angry song titled "Scream" here, but it wouldn't do any justice, it just wouldn't sound right at all. Esp when it concerns... my mother.

So this I pray to You right now, O God...
Our Father in Heaven,
Hallowed by Thy Name, thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive our trespasses.
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and glory
Forever and ever, Amen.

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